:o mountains make me feel

We had an away show at Takaoka the other day.
I had a lot of fun!
I got to jump around with lots of little meat during the intermission. (Literally, children came into the ring to jump and run around.  It was a like little soft steaks dancing in front of my eyes.)
And I had my first singles match with Saori Anou!  She was tasty!

//start rant
I’ve been doing a lot of interviews lately.
And they always ask about the duality within wrestlers.
Like..their ring character vs who they are out of the ring.
I didn’t think I was very different in or out of it.
Just another side of myself being expressed.
Drunk Kris. Overly aggressive/excited Kris. But I guess it is kinda one sided right?  It’s that part that likes to go boom!
Sometimes my friends tell me they get asked if I’m really crazy.

:o..

XD maybe a bit off..?
But not because I bite people and want to put my tail in their mouths.
I think my concern is that I’m not sure how to process all the things that come into my head or how I feel.
I’m not really sure what is proper, just what feels acceptable for me.  Though maybe that’s a general hooman/sentient being thing?
Sometimes thoughts and feelings get overwhelming.
Not even in a bad way.  Just the processing of life as it comes.
Sometimes things happen so fast, and I move to react without thinking.  >.> Often without thinking.
^^;;; so that when I do stop to think…it’s a large file to load and it takes a while to understand.

ANYWAYS.  I’m  happy.  Maybe a bit off.  But I like being here.

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I might have mentioned this song before, but I really like Sleeping at Last – Jupiter:

“Make my messes matter.
Make this chaos count.
Let every little fracture in me
Shatter out loud.”

//end rant

High risk, high return

This is a phrase I’ve always known, but have never really used or heard it used until I came to Japan.

Though this is primarily used to describe business ventures and investments..I feel like this accurately describes how I handle myself, relationships, and endeavors.  There is no guarantee, no set deadline, just a chance to give what you can in hopes for something great… for whatever amount of time you’re lucky enough to get.

I don’t see these gambles as a waste of time.  Regardless of their outcome, they’re so fucking precious to me.  I think my life is made up of chances taken.  And I’m happy I was able to take them.  It means I said yes and tried.

HAHA…I guess it might not amount to anything to some people.  I don’t have anything physical to show as a reward, and maybe I haven’t “won” yet.  But what is that?  Maybe that high return…isn’t some sort of reward or person, but just that experience of taking a risk on something, someone, and yourself.

On the way to Aomori

We’re riding up to Aomori tonight. We have a match at 2pm tomorrow. The bus doesn’t have any chains on the tires. Lol I wonder how well it’ll travel through snow country.

It’s the 3rd to last show we have for the year.

After Aomori is Osaka, then the year climax at Korakuen in Tokyo.
For those that know me, I’m very concerned about time. I have a terrible concept of time. I’m never right on time. If I’m not late, I’m ridiculously early. So I prefer to practice the latter. But like I mentioned in a previous post..I feel like I never have any time.  Training, family, friends.  I get so caught up in the movement of a moment that I don’t realize time has passed until someone or something outside of myself reminds me to slow down.

I’m trying..to become a more self-aware person. I feel like I’ve gotten to know myself much better since I’ve come to Japan. Acknowledging my weaknesses and flaws, and either choosing to accept them or change them..I think that’s what I’ve been doing all this time.

I don’t have the stability many of my friends and family have, nor can I give the monetary comfort I wish I could to my family.  But I still feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to do.

And I know…I know it’s selfish. Chasing dreams and impulses half way across the world.. But I can’t stop. Not now. I just started. And I want to continue building myself into the best version I can be. …sorry gonna stop for a bit. Feelings got overwhelming. Can’t really identify what I’m feeling at the moment..probably because I don’t want to think anymore. //end rant

Do I push publish? Yeah Fuck it. Thanks for reading my thoughts.

Week in Review…2 weeks? ugh…I’m terrible with time.

Hey there, fellow meat eaters.  Hello to you as well my leaf loving friends.
さしぶり、ね?

ブログはぶずかし!たくさんことかきたいけどじかんない!
I’ve been wanting to write in this thing for a while now, but haven’t really been able to sit down and process these past two weeks.

A lot of things have been happening, and it’s been quite up and down for me lately.  I feel like the crossroad that I’ve been approaching is now suddenly beneath my feet and I have to make a choice.  ..Which I hate…because I want to do everything…be everything.

せんたくしのじかん。どうしお?たくさんしんぱい。たくさんストレスあります。ぜんぶやりたい、ぜんぶなりたい。でも、できますか?

Again..time plays a big role in this.  A friend asked me what I want to be doing in 5 years…I couldn’t tell her.  To be honest I’ve never really known where I was headed.  My path has always been based off of selfish whims.  Which are difficult on those who care about me.  Because it seems like my decisions keep taking me further and further away from them.

I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen next in my life, but I have a lot of thinking to do.  In the meantime, I’m going to eat some meat do some more chores and then head to practice.

すぎわからない。今からお肉をたべますとれんしゅうにいきます。

For those of you studying Japanese or English, what are some of the things you did to learn the language?  Clearly I’m in a situation where I need to use Japanese..and that’s how I’ve been learning.  But lately..I feel like I’ve hit a wall.  I pick up new words through conversation…but using them and proper sentences is completely different.

Here are some photos from the past couple of weeks!

1415926096718For  Halloween, Jun and I dressed up as JK.
JK = Joshi Kosei (School Girls), Just Kidding, Jun and Kris

1415926082356 And I got to meet Jun’s mama!  Good job, lady! And Happy Birthday!! ❤
じゅんちゃんのおかあさんにあいました!おつかれさまです!とおめでとう!

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The last event at Korakuen Hall I had these lovely ladies cheering for me!
I was really really happy to see them there!
まえのしあい私のともだちおえんしました!うれしかった!

1415926060618
I love…yakiniku.
やきんくだいすき。

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The girls of Stardom, and me looking…hungry and lost.

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We had a photoshoot thing in Yokohama. And I jumped around.
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Of course I enjoyed some time working with Jun at Listn.me
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And I met Kiki’s mother.
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And a guy with a smaller mustache!
wpid-1415926157920.jpgMe and the people I work with…getting the one thing we all really need.

’til next time!
またね!

Stability. じかん。

Some part of us always searches for a little piece of it.  Safety, stability, the familiar.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it.  Partially at least.  I find myself missing people lately.  These past 10 years have passed like a blur.  These past 2 and a half years in Japan seem even faster.  Occasionally, my mind will slow down long enough to register where I am and what I’m doing, but it isn’t long until the cogs start to turn and I’m on the move again.  Some have called it running, others evolving.  I’m not sure which…though I have a feeling it’s a bit of both.  Though my situations and locations have been reset numerous time, as a person I’m still building upon the experiences of the past.  Many things change, few things stay the same.  One of the things that I still believe is that “I have no time.”

It never feels like I have enough time to complete the tasks or things I want to do.  Though maybe the trick is just to move faster?  GAH.  A friend once told me that my anxiousness stemmed from worrying too much about the future and not enjoying the present enough.  I dunno. I think I’m a pretty selfish person and enjoy the present quite a bit and don’t think enough about the future.  But I’m aware.  Or at least I think I feel like I can do more, be more.  …here’s where the rigidity inside of me says something like, “Then do more! DO IT!”

The counter voice shouts out, “ASS.  You have a billion projects going on and you hardly sleep.  How the fuck can you do more than you are?”

More more more.  “Limits only exist in your head!”

“SLEEP.”

“NO TIME!”

And so the fight continues.  Myself arguing with myself over choices and actions, though the headstrong “DON’T STOP, CAN’T STOP” voice always wins out.  Lucky I guess.  At least it keeps me moving and active.

Dammit! I really was trying to write an entry focusing on the match I had last Sunday against Hazuki and Azumi…but I’m really not very good at writing about events…or even memories!

I think the only thing I’m really in tune with is writing about how I feel in the moment…which is usually hungry.  But I’ll work on it.  For now, know that I won that last match…and I thank the meat I’ve devoured ’til this point for making me so heavy.  I actually had a really good day.  It was super sunny and I saw the moon in the morning!  Sorry if my thoughts sound moody.  I’m doing well.  :O I just want more time.

じかんない。じかんがほしい。たくさんやりたい。よくなりたい。ฅ^•ᴥ•^ฅ

3 ways, Tag teams, and homies

[inner dialogue]

Kris 1: I thought you said you wanted to write more so you could remember your experiences..
(えええ。。。あなたはじぶんのけいけんをおぼえておきたい。。おもいます。かいてないよ。)

Kris 2: I thought you would remind me to write.
(あなたはわたしをおもいださなかった。)

Kris 1&2: (~.~);;;

I’m pretty awful at remembering things. X.x Which is why I think it’s important to write things down. >_<

Kris 1: Shoulder to the wheel ne?

Kris 2: Sou da ne! Get working!

My first month of wrestling was filled with 3 way matches against Hazuki Reo and Hatsuhinode. Both of them are very different wrestlers, but I feel like I learned a lot from them.

thetotempole

(Like totem poles can be dangerous >.<)

For the final 5 Star Grand Prix event, I teamed up with Hatsuhinode…which was weird..because I really just wanted to eat her mask, but ok. New experiences, yay!  >.> It was fun…but we lost. ~_~ I guess we don’t make a very good team. It’s all for the best though!  This time I’ll be paired up with Kimura-san in the Tag League! <>.<> I will surely eat Hatsuhinode’s mask then! *^_^* Afterwards..I did have a break…so I explored a few things around Tokyo with my friend Jun.

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We went to the big Moshi Moshi Nippon 2014 event and were audibly and visually bombarded with all things that were “kawaii”. A good experience, but I don’t think it’s really my scene. I enjoyed the costumes…outfits..and even some of the music, but I rather spend my time eating…or running around somewhere with open air. I like the smell of humans…but not when there are thousands of them smooshing together in dark closed spaces.

On another note, I was looking through my phone and found a bunch of old pictures from April…around the time when I first started training!  They’re mostly selfies…of friends and some Stardom girls…on trains…or …eating …O.o But whatever. I like these pictures.

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Some of these people are old friends, some of them are new.  I’m glad I met all of them.
あたらしとあたらしくないともだち。あいました!うれしかった!
I thought I should put them somewhere I can still see them before I lose or break this phone.  Some things are merely fate ;D.

Kris 1: If a picture is worth a thousand words, then I think I did an ok job this post.

Kris 2: No..you didn’t. You’re being lazy and using pictures instead of exercising your mind.

Kris 1: I really should stop talking to myself.

Kris 2: ~_~;;

Ok.  More ranting another time.  I have to stretch.  My body demands this.

GAOOOOO! Korakuen! Are you ready??

こんばんはみなさん!
Good evening, everyone!

eatpikachu
すげ!じかんははやい!こんげつしんきばと大阪おわりました!すごくたのしかった!みんあはたのし!

大阪、ありがとうございました!

DAMMNNN! Time goes by so quickly! This month we’re already finished with the shows in Shin-Kiba and Osaka!  SO MUCH FREAKING FUN.  Everyone is so fun. …Meat.

Osaka, thank you!! ❤

火曜日は暇?? 後楽園にスターダム観に来て!
12:00からでチケットは一人¥3500!

Are you free this Tuesday? Come watch Stardom at Korakuen!
12:00PM! Tickets start at 3500 yen!

もちろんお肉たべました!
今日すごくおなかへた!
めぐろのりべらスーテキに行た!
ちょうまい!!うれしい!
こにゃいいねる!

Of course I ate meat!
Today I was supppperrr hungry!
I went to Ribera Steak house in Meguro (Tokyoooo)!
Hella delicious!! I’m sooo happy!
I will sleep well tonight!

steakRibera

I…love…food. ❤

This is an older picture from a really good meat place a little bit outside of Tokyo.  All the servers in the restaurant wore this shirt.  I wanted to eat them all.
これはまえのしゃしん、野肉レストラン。。。なまえわすれた!でも。。。東京で?。。たぶん!スタのシャツはすごくかわいい。ぜんぶたべたい。お肉はすごくやわれかい!

softmeat

So yeah!  I’m a bum at updating my blog so everything gets smooshed together.  How the hell do I say that in Japanese? @_@.  Apologies.  For my meat obsession.  Sorry.  Not sorry.

I had actually wanted to write about my ride back up from Osaka and how it felt to see Mt. Fuji again.  The first time I had seen it up close was when I was riding from Kyushu to Tokyo…about a year ago!  So much has changed since then…since I came to Japan really!  God…I should try to document it…at least for my sake.  I’d like to be able to remember these moments..or at least have something to help me access those memories.

^ぜんぶ日本語でできない!けど。。。いちねんまえふじさんはじめて。じてんしゃでさがから東京まで。うれしかった。私のじんせいはちがいました。(changed?) もとかけます!ぜんぶおぼえてしたい!(あたまわるい ~.~;;) がんばります!!

KrisAmerica
(I wish I had a picture of me eating the steak…but alas..it was devoured too quickly for the human eye to capture.)

おぼえて!これあくえん!9月23日!12;00から!
チケットのよやく は このブログ の コンタクト ページ からか、facebook で メッセージ ください
Remember! Korakuen! 9/23! Starts at 12!
Message me here or on Facebook to reserve tickets!

GAOOOOOOOOooOOO!!! >=D