Thick skin and skulls

Perhaps I’ve been blessed with both.  :3

Thank you Hiromi.
ありがとうございましたひろみ。
We’ve known each other for a year and half now.
一年まえにあいました!
You were always kind during training.
れんしゅうせいのときあなたはいつもやさしでした。
I’ve been waiting for you.
まっていましたよ!
Welcome to the ring, my lightly meaty friend.
リングよろしくかわいいにくともだち。
Let’s get strong together.
つよくなりましょ。
>=D
>=D
*^O^*
I plan on winning.  So should you.
私はぜったいまけない。
12143065_169357933406230_2043598084844998455_n 12141153_925854867489156_2510809586059890078_o 12094898_925854850822491_586724367841121281_o

Time is a funny thing.  Sometimes I get so focused on how little of it I have that I lose the moment.  And other times this awareness makes every moment so. fucking. precious.  I’m lucky to have had a friend remind me of that fairly recently.

“It isn’t permanent.”

It isn’t.  And it wasn’t.  And whatever happens next will just be another moment that passes.  But I will love it.  And I am grateful for all the moments that were given and shared with me.  Fucking thank you.

So let’s do this.

Oedo Tai and Stardom are touching down in America for the first time.  I don’t think you can even understand how excited I am.  There are no words.  No number of “fucks” shouted aloud and wild hand waving could illustrate how excited I am right now.  I haven’t been back home in so long.  And I’m gonna see my mom and freaking sister for the first time in more than 2..almost 3 years.

I’m ready to come home.  Maybe not to stay just yet.  But I’m ready to see America again.  I’ve missed you lady.  How have you been?

12166919_903938589696698_311760444_noedostardom

High risk, high return

This is a phrase I’ve always known, but have never really used or heard it used until I came to Japan.

Though this is primarily used to describe business ventures and investments..I feel like this accurately describes how I handle myself, relationships, and endeavors.  There is no guarantee, no set deadline, just a chance to give what you can in hopes for something great… for whatever amount of time you’re lucky enough to get.

I don’t see these gambles as a waste of time.  Regardless of their outcome, they’re so fucking precious to me.  I think my life is made up of chances taken.  And I’m happy I was able to take them.  It means I said yes and tried.

HAHA…I guess it might not amount to anything to some people.  I don’t have anything physical to show as a reward, and maybe I haven’t “won” yet.  But what is that?  Maybe that high return…isn’t some sort of reward or person, but just that experience of taking a risk on something, someone, and yourself.

Bulletproof

I know.  I’m obsessed with the idea of strength.  Though that idea changes and evolves as I continue flopping and clawing through this life.  I understand that there is more than just physical power.  Inner strength, mental fortitude is necessary to navigate through the crap that can get thrown at you by angry monkeys and dickheads who can’t take care of their own shit.  I think it’s ok to compartmentalize, or to have a wall and be cold, or be open and completely vulnerable like an idiot child who just hopes for the best.  Maybe I should take turns using these defenses instead of just using one.  HAHA…I think the completely vulnerable one is what I’ve been using lately.  Just being open and letting all the different emotions hit.  Take it.  Accept it. And move on.  Though…sometimes you get tired and that’s when it’s time to rotate your defense.  Mmm..maybe what matters really is which defense you use and when you use it.  Timing is everything isn’t it?

Anyways this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone.  It doesn’t really make sense to me either…just words…falling from my head and combining on screen.

I’ve been out on a break from wrestling for 3 weeks now.  I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.  I do feel crazy not being able to run around and kick and jump on people, but it was nice to have some down time to hermit and see my friends.  It was a good time to reflect, watch movies, wrestling vids, and read (kinda — I’m not supposed to concentrate too hard or supposedly my brain would explode ~.~)  Overall, it’s been really frustrating not being able to do what makes me feel good or happy.  But I guess it was a good thing.  I don’t often get the chance to reflect, write in this blog and sound like weirdo.  LUCKY!

I’m gonna work on a new costume then go float in the ocean for a while.  Dear online journal and eyes that come across my rants, thanks for existing.
I often don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going.  But thanks for being here with me, assholes.  I love you all.

sis fam JenK AK trunk KYboy RYS KY YURI GAIJIN YOLO oedomore KM JK listnuse2 listnuse mari oedotai fuka jkt oedo

DONE DONE DONE. NOW I’M GONNA GO EAT MEAT. BLKDSJ:LDSKH:LASKJd;lJSDLIWOEIJLSDKAKDJ

O.O;; A day off? What?

Howdy all!
こんにちはみんな!
It’s been a while!
ひさしぶりね!
I hope you are all doing well! げんき??

I have the day off and was looking at all the footage I captured on my camera.  I swear! I bring it around with me and shoot…but I never have the chance to upload it or edit!
今日はやすみ!カメラでいっぱいビデオをとりました!いそがしいすぎ!いっぱいアプロードしたい!
Of course my Japanese is hella simple compared to my English…but…yeah.. >.<;;
もちろんクリスの日本語はへたです。すみません!

A lot has happened since I last wrote something.  There have been lots of ups and downs in wrestling and in my personal life.  You know…normal stuff…not so normal stuff.  Life stuff. ;D  I like to think I’m getting stronger.  I feel like I am.

But YAY!  We made it through the winter!
ふゆはおわりました!
And now it’s Spring in Japan! ❤
今はるです!

AND I’M SOOOO FUCKING HAPPY!
ほうんとによかった!

I don’t fare very well in the winter.  It’s usually the hardest time for me mentally.  Like I’ve said before, I’m powered by the sun!  I have to fight harder to feel ok when it’s cold and dark outside.  In the summer I feel the most alive…and the most natural.  Granted I spend a lot of my summer days running through the woods and mountains, and swimming in the ocean.  Natural = Naked.  What?  Ignore that.

Anyways…enough about me being a big baby.  My life here in the dorms has been interesting.  I’ve met so many awesome people, I can’t describe how lucky I feel.  My brain is constantly being tickled by the new things I learn.  I think that’s what keeps people young.  Anyways.  I have to figure out what to do with all this footage.  But here’s something from a month or two ago.  I hope you enjoy it.  We did.

#throwback #friends #ooedotai

For more of my face eating things and playing with people check out these channels:

Kris Wolf’s Lazy vLog
I SWEAR I WILL UPDATE THIS!

Ribbons and Dirty Paws
Kris and Mari explore Japan
(more likely to be updated)

Listn.me
I’m actually paid to do this so this will definitely be updated.  This is more for Japanese English learners.  But sometimes you can check out the cultural differences we experience out here.

Diva-dirt.com
Some old videos of Melissa, Starfire and I wandering through Tokyo.  Maybe some more new videos of me and the new group of wrestlers that are here in Japan.  ;D Eventually.

Week in Review…2 weeks? ugh…I’m terrible with time.

Hey there, fellow meat eaters.  Hello to you as well my leaf loving friends.
さしぶり、ね?

ブログはぶずかし!たくさんことかきたいけどじかんない!
I’ve been wanting to write in this thing for a while now, but haven’t really been able to sit down and process these past two weeks.

A lot of things have been happening, and it’s been quite up and down for me lately.  I feel like the crossroad that I’ve been approaching is now suddenly beneath my feet and I have to make a choice.  ..Which I hate…because I want to do everything…be everything.

せんたくしのじかん。どうしお?たくさんしんぱい。たくさんストレスあります。ぜんぶやりたい、ぜんぶなりたい。でも、できますか?

Again..time plays a big role in this.  A friend asked me what I want to be doing in 5 years…I couldn’t tell her.  To be honest I’ve never really known where I was headed.  My path has always been based off of selfish whims.  Which are difficult on those who care about me.  Because it seems like my decisions keep taking me further and further away from them.

I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen next in my life, but I have a lot of thinking to do.  In the meantime, I’m going to eat some meat do some more chores and then head to practice.

すぎわからない。今からお肉をたべますとれんしゅうにいきます。

For those of you studying Japanese or English, what are some of the things you did to learn the language?  Clearly I’m in a situation where I need to use Japanese..and that’s how I’ve been learning.  But lately..I feel like I’ve hit a wall.  I pick up new words through conversation…but using them and proper sentences is completely different.

Here are some photos from the past couple of weeks!

1415926096718For  Halloween, Jun and I dressed up as JK.
JK = Joshi Kosei (School Girls), Just Kidding, Jun and Kris

1415926082356 And I got to meet Jun’s mama!  Good job, lady! And Happy Birthday!! ❤
じゅんちゃんのおかあさんにあいました!おつかれさまです!とおめでとう!

1415926068039
The last event at Korakuen Hall I had these lovely ladies cheering for me!
I was really really happy to see them there!
まえのしあい私のともだちおえんしました!うれしかった!

1415926060618
I love…yakiniku.
やきんくだいすき。

1415926044171
The girls of Stardom, and me looking…hungry and lost.

1415926035290
We had a photoshoot thing in Yokohama. And I jumped around.
1415926031005
Of course I enjoyed some time working with Jun at Listn.me
wpid-1415926108644.jpg
And I met Kiki’s mother.
wpid-1415926152455.jpg
And a guy with a smaller mustache!
wpid-1415926157920.jpgMe and the people I work with…getting the one thing we all really need.

’til next time!
またね!

Stability. じかん。

Some part of us always searches for a little piece of it.  Safety, stability, the familiar.  I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want it.  Partially at least.  I find myself missing people lately.  These past 10 years have passed like a blur.  These past 2 and a half years in Japan seem even faster.  Occasionally, my mind will slow down long enough to register where I am and what I’m doing, but it isn’t long until the cogs start to turn and I’m on the move again.  Some have called it running, others evolving.  I’m not sure which…though I have a feeling it’s a bit of both.  Though my situations and locations have been reset numerous time, as a person I’m still building upon the experiences of the past.  Many things change, few things stay the same.  One of the things that I still believe is that “I have no time.”

It never feels like I have enough time to complete the tasks or things I want to do.  Though maybe the trick is just to move faster?  GAH.  A friend once told me that my anxiousness stemmed from worrying too much about the future and not enjoying the present enough.  I dunno. I think I’m a pretty selfish person and enjoy the present quite a bit and don’t think enough about the future.  But I’m aware.  Or at least I think I feel like I can do more, be more.  …here’s where the rigidity inside of me says something like, “Then do more! DO IT!”

The counter voice shouts out, “ASS.  You have a billion projects going on and you hardly sleep.  How the fuck can you do more than you are?”

More more more.  “Limits only exist in your head!”

“SLEEP.”

“NO TIME!”

And so the fight continues.  Myself arguing with myself over choices and actions, though the headstrong “DON’T STOP, CAN’T STOP” voice always wins out.  Lucky I guess.  At least it keeps me moving and active.

Dammit! I really was trying to write an entry focusing on the match I had last Sunday against Hazuki and Azumi…but I’m really not very good at writing about events…or even memories!

I think the only thing I’m really in tune with is writing about how I feel in the moment…which is usually hungry.  But I’ll work on it.  For now, know that I won that last match…and I thank the meat I’ve devoured ’til this point for making me so heavy.  I actually had a really good day.  It was super sunny and I saw the moon in the morning!  Sorry if my thoughts sound moody.  I’m doing well.  :O I just want more time.

じかんない。じかんがほしい。たくさんやりたい。よくなりたい。ฅ^•ᴥ•^ฅ

3 ways, Tag teams, and homies

[inner dialogue]

Kris 1: I thought you said you wanted to write more so you could remember your experiences..
(えええ。。。あなたはじぶんのけいけんをおぼえておきたい。。おもいます。かいてないよ。)

Kris 2: I thought you would remind me to write.
(あなたはわたしをおもいださなかった。)

Kris 1&2: (~.~);;;

I’m pretty awful at remembering things. X.x Which is why I think it’s important to write things down. >_<

Kris 1: Shoulder to the wheel ne?

Kris 2: Sou da ne! Get working!

My first month of wrestling was filled with 3 way matches against Hazuki Reo and Hatsuhinode. Both of them are very different wrestlers, but I feel like I learned a lot from them.

thetotempole

(Like totem poles can be dangerous >.<)

For the final 5 Star Grand Prix event, I teamed up with Hatsuhinode…which was weird..because I really just wanted to eat her mask, but ok. New experiences, yay!  >.> It was fun…but we lost. ~_~ I guess we don’t make a very good team. It’s all for the best though!  This time I’ll be paired up with Kimura-san in the Tag League! <>.<> I will surely eat Hatsuhinode’s mask then! *^_^* Afterwards..I did have a break…so I explored a few things around Tokyo with my friend Jun.

10658557_787061451337472_184245228874868837_o

We went to the big Moshi Moshi Nippon 2014 event and were audibly and visually bombarded with all things that were “kawaii”. A good experience, but I don’t think it’s really my scene. I enjoyed the costumes…outfits..and even some of the music, but I rather spend my time eating…or running around somewhere with open air. I like the smell of humans…but not when there are thousands of them smooshing together in dark closed spaces.

On another note, I was looking through my phone and found a bunch of old pictures from April…around the time when I first started training!  They’re mostly selfies…of friends and some Stardom girls…on trains…or …eating …O.o But whatever. I like these pictures.

wpid-20140323_214401.jpg wpid-20140323_212953.jpg wpid-20140325_182840.jpg wpid-20140329_230236.jpg wpid-20140329_184228.jpg wpid-20140420_225232.jpg wpid-20140423_103914.jpg wpid-20140506_200920.jpg wpid-20140528_011720.jpg wpid-20140611_192817.jpg wpid-20140708_163359.jpg wpid-20140708_222005.jpg wpid-20140717_161718.jpg wpid-20140803_173859.jpg wpid-20140818_200300.jpg wpid-20140918_122849.jpg wpid-20140923_160217.jpg wpid-20140924_154355.jpg wpid-20140927_210306.jpg

Some of these people are old friends, some of them are new.  I’m glad I met all of them.
あたらしとあたらしくないともだち。あいました!うれしかった!
I thought I should put them somewhere I can still see them before I lose or break this phone.  Some things are merely fate ;D.

Kris 1: If a picture is worth a thousand words, then I think I did an ok job this post.

Kris 2: No..you didn’t. You’re being lazy and using pictures instead of exercising your mind.

Kris 1: I really should stop talking to myself.

Kris 2: ~_~;;

Ok.  More ranting another time.  I have to stretch.  My body demands this.