Thick skin and skulls

Perhaps I’ve been blessed with both.  :3

Thank you Hiromi.
ありがとうございましたひろみ。
We’ve known each other for a year and half now.
一年まえにあいました!
You were always kind during training.
れんしゅうせいのときあなたはいつもやさしでした。
I’ve been waiting for you.
まっていましたよ!
Welcome to the ring, my lightly meaty friend.
リングよろしくかわいいにくともだち。
Let’s get strong together.
つよくなりましょ。
>=D
>=D
*^O^*
I plan on winning.  So should you.
私はぜったいまけない。
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Time is a funny thing.  Sometimes I get so focused on how little of it I have that I lose the moment.  And other times this awareness makes every moment so. fucking. precious.  I’m lucky to have had a friend remind me of that fairly recently.

“It isn’t permanent.”

It isn’t.  And it wasn’t.  And whatever happens next will just be another moment that passes.  But I will love it.  And I am grateful for all the moments that were given and shared with me.  Fucking thank you.

So let’s do this.

Oedo Tai and Stardom are touching down in America for the first time.  I don’t think you can even understand how excited I am.  There are no words.  No number of “fucks” shouted aloud and wild hand waving could illustrate how excited I am right now.  I haven’t been back home in so long.  And I’m gonna see my mom and freaking sister for the first time in more than 2..almost 3 years.

I’m ready to come home.  Maybe not to stay just yet.  But I’m ready to see America again.  I’ve missed you lady.  How have you been?

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High risk, high return

This is a phrase I’ve always known, but have never really used or heard it used until I came to Japan.

Though this is primarily used to describe business ventures and investments..I feel like this accurately describes how I handle myself, relationships, and endeavors.  There is no guarantee, no set deadline, just a chance to give what you can in hopes for something great… for whatever amount of time you’re lucky enough to get.

I don’t see these gambles as a waste of time.  Regardless of their outcome, they’re so fucking precious to me.  I think my life is made up of chances taken.  And I’m happy I was able to take them.  It means I said yes and tried.

HAHA…I guess it might not amount to anything to some people.  I don’t have anything physical to show as a reward, and maybe I haven’t “won” yet.  But what is that?  Maybe that high return…isn’t some sort of reward or person, but just that experience of taking a risk on something, someone, and yourself.

Bulletproof

I know.  I’m obsessed with the idea of strength.  Though that idea changes and evolves as I continue flopping and clawing through this life.  I understand that there is more than just physical power.  Inner strength, mental fortitude is necessary to navigate through the crap that can get thrown at you by angry monkeys and dickheads who can’t take care of their own shit.  I think it’s ok to compartmentalize, or to have a wall and be cold, or be open and completely vulnerable like an idiot child who just hopes for the best.  Maybe I should take turns using these defenses instead of just using one.  HAHA…I think the completely vulnerable one is what I’ve been using lately.  Just being open and letting all the different emotions hit.  Take it.  Accept it. And move on.  Though…sometimes you get tired and that’s when it’s time to rotate your defense.  Mmm..maybe what matters really is which defense you use and when you use it.  Timing is everything isn’t it?

Anyways this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone.  It doesn’t really make sense to me either…just words…falling from my head and combining on screen.

I’ve been out on a break from wrestling for 3 weeks now.  I have a lot of mixed feelings about it.  I do feel crazy not being able to run around and kick and jump on people, but it was nice to have some down time to hermit and see my friends.  It was a good time to reflect, watch movies, wrestling vids, and read (kinda — I’m not supposed to concentrate too hard or supposedly my brain would explode ~.~)  Overall, it’s been really frustrating not being able to do what makes me feel good or happy.  But I guess it was a good thing.  I don’t often get the chance to reflect, write in this blog and sound like weirdo.  LUCKY!

I’m gonna work on a new costume then go float in the ocean for a while.  Dear online journal and eyes that come across my rants, thanks for existing.
I often don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going.  But thanks for being here with me, assholes.  I love you all.

sis fam JenK AK trunk KYboy RYS KY YURI GAIJIN YOLO oedomore KM JK listnuse2 listnuse mari oedotai fuka jkt oedo

DONE DONE DONE. NOW I’M GONNA GO EAT MEAT. BLKDSJ:LDSKH:LASKJd;lJSDLIWOEIJLSDKAKDJ

Week in Review…2 weeks? ugh…I’m terrible with time.

Hey there, fellow meat eaters.  Hello to you as well my leaf loving friends.
さしぶり、ね?

ブログはぶずかし!たくさんことかきたいけどじかんない!
I’ve been wanting to write in this thing for a while now, but haven’t really been able to sit down and process these past two weeks.

A lot of things have been happening, and it’s been quite up and down for me lately.  I feel like the crossroad that I’ve been approaching is now suddenly beneath my feet and I have to make a choice.  ..Which I hate…because I want to do everything…be everything.

せんたくしのじかん。どうしお?たくさんしんぱい。たくさんストレスあります。ぜんぶやりたい、ぜんぶなりたい。でも、できますか?

Again..time plays a big role in this.  A friend asked me what I want to be doing in 5 years…I couldn’t tell her.  To be honest I’ve never really known where I was headed.  My path has always been based off of selfish whims.  Which are difficult on those who care about me.  Because it seems like my decisions keep taking me further and further away from them.

I can’t tell you what’s gonna happen next in my life, but I have a lot of thinking to do.  In the meantime, I’m going to eat some meat do some more chores and then head to practice.

すぎわからない。今からお肉をたべますとれんしゅうにいきます。

For those of you studying Japanese or English, what are some of the things you did to learn the language?  Clearly I’m in a situation where I need to use Japanese..and that’s how I’ve been learning.  But lately..I feel like I’ve hit a wall.  I pick up new words through conversation…but using them and proper sentences is completely different.

Here are some photos from the past couple of weeks!

1415926096718For  Halloween, Jun and I dressed up as JK.
JK = Joshi Kosei (School Girls), Just Kidding, Jun and Kris

1415926082356 And I got to meet Jun’s mama!  Good job, lady! And Happy Birthday!! ❤
じゅんちゃんのおかあさんにあいました!おつかれさまです!とおめでとう!

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The last event at Korakuen Hall I had these lovely ladies cheering for me!
I was really really happy to see them there!
まえのしあい私のともだちおえんしました!うれしかった!

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I love…yakiniku.
やきんくだいすき。

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The girls of Stardom, and me looking…hungry and lost.

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We had a photoshoot thing in Yokohama. And I jumped around.
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Of course I enjoyed some time working with Jun at Listn.me
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And I met Kiki’s mother.
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And a guy with a smaller mustache!
wpid-1415926157920.jpgMe and the people I work with…getting the one thing we all really need.

’til next time!
またね!