Where’s the pause button?

I wish I wasn’t so fucking anxious. I wish I was one of those cool and collected types. Definitely not the case.  I constantly feel as if I’m on fire or electricity is coursing through my veins. Even when it seems like I should be able to relax…I can’t. I just don’t know how to. A friend of mine had been meditating a lot lately. I thought I would give it a try. It’s been a long time since I have done such.  But I can’t get into it. My pulse quickens and I hear my chest beat,”go go go”.  Is it my obsession with time?  Ughhh…

But let’s be clear. It’s not that I’m not enjoying myself. I am. I’m alive. On fire. Constantly being challenged and stimulated. I am happy. But I suppose as always, I want to do more. Be more.

I hope you guys are having a good day.

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